Top 10 Ways to Deal with a Backstabber
Sometimes one wonders if hell and paradise are actually two sides of the coin or the planet Earth. So many backstabbers around us, that we get perplexed if they are created by God or Devil. As children, we do not understand the intensity of such emotions when we are abandoned by our friends. When we grow up, we get to know that we are emotionally affected when our so called friends back-stab us. The morals we learnt in schools turn to be tales when we see people are not that virtuous and are craving for opportunities are ready to harm others for meeting their desires. The professional envy is a rather irking factor that one cannot trust the colleague for one may not know when one is thrown out of the office because of them. Some people have gone into psychic depression and even committed suicide, if we how to tackle them we can save ourselves as well our friends who become prey to such people.
Backstabbers are everywhere, among us and around us. It is like crossing the roads without getting hit by vehicles, at the crossroads of life, these people will come and try to push us to the abyss; the cautiousness of mind and heart shall be the only factors that could help us from being lost and depressed.
The first way is to observe people before making friendship or any sort of relationship with them. The world is good but its people are venomous, so observe and take each step carefully, maintain eye contact when you communicate to others. It is said that gestures and eyes reveal the lies the words hide behind the tongue and mind.
8. Maintain Distance
Once a person sounds dubious of his intentions, maintain a distance from the person. If a person does not show any qualms to insult his or her friend in public as well spread rumours about them, then pay attention to the fact that they can betray their best friends, we are no great deal for them to be trampled upon.
7. Wisdom Reloaded via Silence
The best way I have dealt with such people is by maintaining silence whenever they make remarks on others. This wisdom gained after being scapegoat of backstabbers for eons!! A college mate of mine used to be gossip monger, and being a graduation student, all fresh and direct from school, we used to listen to her; the things she said were charged against us, and other friends started avoiding a bunch of thinking we are behind all these. It is after graduation that we came know about the truth, even then we could not do much. But afterwards, we have wise enough to observe and categorise such people so as to maintain a dignified distance and silence with them.
6. Make friends
Make friends and do not be dependent on one or two, even if they leave, you have to move on. When such people irritate your mental sanity, you need better people to hang out with and forget such nonsensical creatures. If we are fortunate to have good friends, they would alert us of the people who are plotting against us. The basic rule of today is- trust none, listen to your own heart. We do not have any relation as the best and pure- in newspapers we read fathers raping daughters, mothers killing their children and so how can we expect the strangers called friends to be standing for us. This was an insight into the darker sides of the real, there are still good souls, parents who starve to save that much amount of food for their children. If we find such gems of humans, better not to lose them because, it is true love that the world is running short of.
Do not abandon your hobbies; one needs some idiosyncrasies to survive; after all to fight insanity, we need some insane tools, rationality would not come in use at times. Whenever you are upset, revamp your room, pick a book, listen to music, hang out with friends, just be in with your hobbies, and even you would not notice when you are out of the sorrow filled times. What if you improvise in your hobbies and become a great artist that the person who envied you shall go more green and it sounds so meaty that someone who wishes ill luck going crazy over us again and again!
4. Focus on work
Now that is something complicated an affair! We have to extra cautious, same time focused on our work; the people who wants to taint us with tar shall do that, as they have the expertise in the endeavour and it is wasting one’s time and health over such weird and silly things and better get back to serious mode and do our work, or else we will end up ruining ourselves synchronizing with what these malicious people wanted to happen to us. Time would heal the wounds of embarrassments but the work undone of being dejected because of these people shall reinstate that we do not have inner strength to fight the devil.
3. Strike back
Try to explain things to your friends and family and seek their advice in this regard. You may also chose to sort out things with the person himself or herself.Non violence is an option, but if the harm is intolerable, get the person to have a cup of coffee in private; and you may decide to make sure the person leaves the coffee mug with his or her wisdom tooth in it!!! Jokes apart, if things go out of hand, call up your friends and the ‘foe’ and just beat the person blue and black with words; they deserve this insult.
2. Do not be so good
The best part to be on the safer side, is not to be so naive, simple and good that people around you gain the confidence to bowl you down. It is easier to make a blemish on a white board than a grey one. Be good at heart and your behaviour should evince the goodness, but make sure you do not waster your ‘goodness’ on unworthy people.
1. Pampering Self
The mind works under three principles namely, the pleasure principle,the reality principle and the morality principle. It is the pleasure principle that motivates people to do all the wrongs and the opposite is done by morality principle. The reality principle is the regulating factor between our mind dilating between the two extremes. So we need to pamper this reality principle, otherwise called ‘ego’ and regain our self esteem and self confidence. If we dare to stand straight and high against the people who backstab us, we shall mitigate the levels to which they harm us. If we go to the roots of the problem, as why people engage in backstabbing others, we get to know that they are actually frustrated lot and fear the other would outshine them otherwise. Never let such people take control of our lives; being diplomatic saves such strained relationships; make space for them and they should realize that they are permitted only up to the boundaries of that space and they should not meddle with our lives.