Top 10 Reasons why Spouse Fight

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I bet you would have seen your parents fight or quarrel sometime or the other. The reasons behind could have been be silly or serious, but the relationship almost always sails well through the storms. Marriage is a lifelong commitment of two different persons towards each other. These two people have different perspectives, personalities, opinions and habits that may contradict and trigger an argument. Hence fighting is a part of healthy marriage, unless and until there arrives a situation when you need a good divorce lawyer. Below are 10 reasons from silly-to-serious ones, which cause conflicts among couples.

10. Day to day dose

day to day dose

Shoes inside the room! Towel on the bed! Socks that are left on floor! And you hear the lady of the house shouting again. These may seem trivial issues but yes couples do have a fight over things like that. It can be someone’s habit to be neat and tidy and others to messy all the time. Call it a personality trait, this may trigger arguments and can become a day to day seen in some homes. Understand her and accept him this way are the two possible solutions otherwise.

9. The Match or the Daily Soaps

match or daily soaps

Often couples fight over that remote which could potentially control the whole evening rather than just the T.V. The husband is eager to watch the ‘match’ and the wife doesn’t want to miss tonight’s episode of her favorite serial. Either one has to sit, in front of the screen making faces and cursing other or else no one watches their favorite and end up fighting and quarreling. Managing of time and self even before the T.V screen, is something where couples solely have to help themselves.

8. Personal space

personal space

Since they are two different entities living together forever, it will be foolish to think that they may always want to stick around together, inseparably and with full devotion. One may need his or her own personal space like to go and hang out with friends, party, shop and dine. While the other may find his/her partner to be least caring, not bothered about their married life, more prioritizing his/her life and not ‘their’ life. The shift from ‘we’ to ‘me’ is sometimes important for the individual and that other partner should understand it timely.

7. Blame it on work!

blame it on work

Balancing work with life is a becoming a challenge for most of the working couples today. With almost 10 hours of slogging at the office desk, couples don’t get time to spend with each other. On top of that eyes stuck on the mobile phones on the dinner table, late night meetings with boss, being late for your child’s school celebrations are few small  yet important details where parents can’t make it up to each other’s expectation and blame it on the workload. It not only leads to fights and misunderstanding but also causes unmanageable stress and effects lifestyle. Keeping work away from home and taking quality time for one another is important.

6.  When we decide Together

When we deceide together

Many a times the couple needs to take various important decisions together. Sometimes both may agree upon the same thing, other times not. This leads to conflicts which lead to fights. Normally people manage out of it until the consequences arrive and one may start the fight with ‘see-i-had-told-you’ dialogues. Instead it is good to consider each others points and experiment with small things. Big things can take care of themselves eventually.

5. Extra-marital Affairs

extra-marital affair

An extra-marital affair can be a serious setback for a relationship and ultimately leads to divorce in most cases.  Although couples get a sense of security over each other after marriage, yet there may be chances that one of them may slip off from the conditions governing the forever bond.  It can even turn out to be a misunderstanding between couples if one of them is over-protective or over-possessive about the other and can lead to fights. Talking as usual always helps. The relation can be brought back on track by keeping alive the romance and enjoying each others company by doing things that makes both happy.

4. The In-Laws

The in-laws

A fight can begin from small argument, but what can unknowingly give a spark to it are the in-laws who always come in between whether physically present there or not. May be the mother-in-law turns out to be too cruel a lady for the wife and the husband refuses to accept that. The jokes and taunts by the lady’s parents, on him, might not be taken positively by the husband. The problem comes when one partner takes the other as too complaining about his/her family and refuses to go against someone of their own bloodline.  Amid all the argument, the spouses feel that their partners don’t understand them. A simple talking can always work in this case, if the problem prevails the in-laws can be patiently explained why their partners feel the discomforts around them.

3. Sex and the strife

Couple arguing in bed

Sexual bonding plays an important role in a happy married life.  Issues may arise when couples may not have similar levels of desires. At that time all the above problems may find places right away in the arguments. One person may feel ignored and not loved or may not understand what other wants. Also if they often fight over sexual matters then the actual problem in relationship may lay deep somewhere. A lot of easy and patient talking is required at such sensitive matters, to get to the solution.

2. Honey you spoiled the kids!

honey you spoiled the kids

Having a child is one of the best parts of marriage but a mark of love and affection can sometimes be the very reason for the couples to fight over. Since the two people in a marriage come from different backgrounds with different way of upbringing, they have their opinions on how to raise the child. One may think that too much love showered by the other partner will spoil the kid, and prefer to be strict and stern, maintaining a sense of discipline. Daily fights  has a negative effect on the child also. He may think that he is the reason of fight between his parents or a regular fight is alright, and may grow up to develop the same nature. Care should be taken that even if the parents argue, they should it behind closed doors.  Different parenting strategies can be opted at different points, which may be contradicting but healthy too.

1. Money Matters

SONY DSC

Handling finances together can many a time turn out to be an issue among couples. One may be a spender while other may always flinch when spending even a penny from the pocket. Buying anything new without others consent may upraise questions like ‘Why are you spending so much?’, ‘Where did you get the money from?’, ‘We could have utilized that for something better’. This may not only hurt the other partner but can eventually lead to fights over money. Fights can further take place over some big future ventures like buying a house, getting a car, kid’s education, saving for future etc. Proper management of finances with the consent and discussion can always make the matters go easy and smooth.

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