Top 10 Reasons why People Hate being Tagged as a Couple

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You meet someone, feel the zing, and things are exciting until you label your relationship and declare it to the world. If done correctly, it’s never the relationship that sucks, but the tag, which becomes that irritating nuisance that shall follow you till your grave; here’s why.

10. Conjoined twins

10. CONJOINED TWINS

While flipping through channels like Nat Geo and Discovery, you surely must have come across one of those conjoined twins who were born that way and they share how they go about their daily routine. Switch the TV off, and enter my world, where THIS is how my friends talk to me.

“Let’s go out for ice cream. You, you, you, you, you and you guys”

Hey wait! Hello, come back! I’m a “you” too. I mean whatever happened to individualism? People start seeking one person as a representative for the other, and don’t seem to think it’s important to ask the others’ opinion.

“Oh, he’s not coming to the mall; I guess that means you won’t come either. Bye bye”
This.Statement.Burns.My.Insides.

It probably IS true, maybe one of them won’t come along if the other isn’t, but would it really hurt to ask? It sucks losing the one thing you have nurtured all your life-your individuality. Some couples HATE always being referred to as “one” and would go all out to declare that THEY ARE NOT ONE SOUL, and they have TWO brains, which work in completely different manners.

9. Right to flirting

9. RIGHT TO FLIRTING

Unless you have the world’s most understanding partner who believes that flirting is your birth right and trusts you enough to consider flirting as a friendly banter without other intentions, all your rights to one of human’s most cherished indulgence are hammered. All the experience and online chatting has suddenly gone to waste.

No longer can you engage in meaningless side-lipped-smirks and footsies

No longer can you make statements full of sarcasm; the meaning of which even you are unsure of

No longer can you make those cat-eye slits and cast that super sexual, beckoning finger

Okay I’m kidding. I don’t do that. Nobody does. Oh my god! Don’t picture it!

8. I’m a half-eaten apple

8. I’M A HALF-EATEN APPLE

Suddenly, you go invisible and the amount of attention you get undergoes an exponential decay. Only a few jobless Facebookers want to converse with you now; stares and prank calls feel hallucinatory. You are like that old piece of furniture eating dust in some corner of the house; you become that pregnant actress who no director wants to cast anymore. You come face to face with the epiphany that you were addicted to all the attention; involuntarily, you want to shout out “PEOPLE!!! LOOK AT ME!!! STILL SEXY!!!”

7. Party scenario

7. PARTY SCENARIO

Get-togethers are probably the one thing in life that keeps the wheels rolling. Before your youth dies away, you have that urge to attend every possible party and go wild; meet friends, stroll around, sit here, talk there, flirt, blush, dance, get drunk and finally pass out. The entire prospect of a party doesn’t remain as wild as it used to be once the couple label enters your life. Even if you and your partner are full-on fun loving freaks, the “wild” element tends to subside. All of a sudden, some people might not want to be around you; the COUPLE. Moreover, if your partner is hated by the host, chances are, you won’t be invited either. At times like these, you wish you could just pull off that label and retreat to the life of a single wanderer.

6. Some aunties

6. SOME AUNTIES

Here’s an activity. Flare up your nose. Pretend to sniff something rotten. Your nose will come up. Now stop. Pull your upper lip higher and throw your lower lip out. Perfect. You have achieved THE LOOK

The stares given to you by some of your neighborhood aunties and teachers once they have realized you are engaged in a relationship leave no doubt that they classify your relationship as a serious and tremendous lapse in morality.

5. Decision pressure

5. DECISION PRESSURE

You are sitting with your partner and a bunch of friends at a coffee house when questions are shot your way. You get asked whether you are serious, whether you plan to marry your partner and your future plans. What’s even worse is, you might have never discussed these things with your partner and you realize it is time for some serious self-introspection.

After every decision taken, you are burdened under the pressure to take the next one. Are we ready for the first kiss? Hold hands? Exchange keys? Sex? Move in? Can I watch you pee?

4. A parental pickle

4. A PARENTAL PICKLE

Regarding the awareness of your now-labeled relationship by your parents, there are only two things that can happen, the latter having a probability of one.

Former: You tell them.

Latter: They find it out: Facebook, neighbors or otherwise.

Now, you end up in either of these two situations, both being the result of their immense care for you.

Former: Your parents expect you to end up marrying your partner. No daddy wants a guy to be “casually-dating” his baby daughter and will pull out his intestines (to make one of those tangled animal shaped balloons) if he senses it happening.

Latter: Your parents get pissed at you for ever engaging in the relationship.

And thus, the PICKLE!

3. The “AWWW” effect

3. THE “AWWW” EFFECT

Once upon a time there was a guy named “guy” and a girl named “girl”. After declaring it to the world that they were in a relationship, they basked in all the attention, awww’s and oooooh’s they received from their friends. They loved everyone telling them what a cute couple they were and lived an amazing life with their friends. However, in a course of a few days, the AWW EFFECT went too far and there was a gruesome turn-of-events.

THEIR FRIENDS STARTED COLLECTIVELY CALLING THEM “GUY-IRL”.

Every time they were seen, they were encountered with themselves being called by this name until they got so irritated and angry, that it ended in the brutal murder of all their friends.

END OF STORY

2. I’m a mushy mushy lover

2. I AM A MUSHY-MUSHY LOVER

You are dreamily looking into your partner’s eyes with your arms around their neck. But oh wait! You have the couple tag; and people cannot bear to see you getting cozy. They make the most disgusting face if they see you guys holding hands or kissing each other. You spend an evening with a bunch and next day, word has it that X told Y “Oh my God, did you see those guys? They were getting so touchy, I felt like soooooo awkward”

“Ohhh pleeeaase! I beg youuu. Let me hold my boyfriend’s hand in public; let me kiss my girlfriend because I think she looks beautiful in that dress. I have attained puberty. I have fully functioning hormones, and I have the COUPLE TAG! Unless I come to your office, sweep everything (including your laptop) off your desk in one swift movement, climb atop and get into unbridled action with my partner in front of your very eyes, I don’t think there is anything you should be complaining about.

Advice: Don’t hate, appreciate!

One day, youth will get over

You will be old and kissing in public won’t matter

Kissing in front of your friends won’t be special

And you will be reading a TOP 10 list of “things you should have done before 25”

Where #1 will be “Kiss a special someone in front of all your friends”

SO, I urge thee close friends of that random couple “Gather your couply friends. Make them kiss, and sing “AWWWW!” in unison.

Couples are awesome. They already face a gazillion hurdles (mentioned above). Love them. Care for them. In fact, buy them gifts. Okay, I’m getting carried away.

1. Friends

1. FRIENDS

In reality, the 9 problems of the couple tag mentioned above are very superficial and can easily be disregarded and laughed off, as they come nowhere near to being worth your relationship. The tag only becomes a serious problem when its starts acting as a barrier between you and your best friend(s). As soon as your best friends hear about your relationship tag, they start feeling like a third wheel between you two and suddenly believe that all you want to do is be alone with your partner. They either demand all your time or try to give you time alone, and in an unsaid way, you start drifting apart from your best friend. The worst-case scenario being that bestie doesn’t approve of your partner.

From the point of view of the “relationship-friend” to “the best-friend”

Friend

The fun I have with you cannot be replaced by ANYONE!

I absolutely LOVE it when you spend time with me and my partner

It gives me a chance to once more get a feel of my single life

It lets me fantasize that I am still that single dude

There is nothing better than a night with you, my boyfriend/girlfriend and some beer

Even if the night has ended, I want you to stay and not assume that I’d be more interested in retreating to the room with my boyfriend/girlfriend.
In case that IS what I want, I will let you know, and I plead you to be cool and not feel neglected
I can’t emphasize enough on this, I LOVE your company and NO-ONE deserves to come between us.

From the point of view of the “third-wheel friend” to the “relationship-friend”

Friend

It totally seems like your partner is more important to you now

And at times it gets awkward hanging out with you guys

I wish you have an awesome love life, but it’s quite different now with this new edition

CONCLUSION: Both the points of view are correct. This is one of those unavoidable situations that comes in all our lives. So all I can say is, nothing is really worth your friendship getting affected, so be careful to split out your time if you are in a relationship and talk about it in advance with your bestie. For those who feel like the third wheel- Oh just stop this self-pity! The next time you go to your cafeteria and see two of your couply friends chattering away, don’t avoid them JUST because they are a couple. Go and sit RIGHT between them. I promise you, they will LOVE it.

Love, relationships, weddings; everything is worthless without friends.

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1 Comment

  1. Isura Salwathura

    December 8, 2013 at 6:33 pm

    had a Flash Back Frenzy… *_* Cheers Vaishali ! its an awesome read.

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