10 Ways to Get Over your Fear of Intimacy
The first thing that comes to our mind when we think of intimacy is a warm and affectionate relationship that we share with another person. One of the major reasons why most people shy away from committing in a relationship is their fear of intimacy. It is this fear that curbs their desire to break away from their comfort zone or for that matter to let anyone come too close to them, lest they find faults in them. Such people spend hours criticizing themselves as to how they fall short in various aspects like-beauty, intelligence, talent, experience and so on. Such negative thoughts give rise to fear of intimacy which restricts them from sharing close relationships which their near and dear ones crave for. Intimacy is supposed to be beautiful and cherished, not this hideous monster that people try to avoid. Here is a list of the few things which can be done to overcome this fear:
10. Fear of Hurting the Person Attached-
This is a common fear among all. We feel that if we are intimate in a relationship then we are supposed to give ourselves away to our partners. But the reality is far away from this. It is very natural for a person to fall out of love or lose interest in their partners. This is a part of life because in this journey of life you are bound to hurt someone or the other sooner or later. Hence, if we go along with the mindset of trying to please everyone around us then we are bound to fail miserably. So, people should muster up the courage to let their partners know when and if they lose interest in them because being in a forceful relationship is not fair to either of the partners.
9. Awkward moments-
Awkward silences are part of being in a relationship. Nearly all who has been in a relationship at some point has faced it. These silences make us cringe but if we continue to pretend that these moments never existed then it only makes the entire situation worse. Instead a much better option is to bring it in the forefront and casually joke about it with a sarcastic remark or something alike. Such a positive approach helps to reduce the pressure as a result of which the two individuals are able to bond better by setting aside their fear of intimacy.
8. Fear Of Losing The Person-
It is always better to live in the present and enjoy every moment of it because the moment we start thinking about our future is the time when all sorts of unwanted insecurities starts creeping up. When an individual shares an intimate relationship with another then it creates within them a raw feeling of vulnerability. This is due to the fact that the very idea of the person, with whom one has shared his deep dark secrets, leaving them is regarded as the worst form of rejection. In order to prevent this unpleasant situation from occurring, most people tend to fear intimacy. But just because a remote possibility exists of losing your loved one, no one should say no to intimacy.
7. Body Image-
Among girls, this is one of the prime reasons for fear of intimacy. Women tend to feel that all men look for in a woman is her body but that is utter bullshit. If a man really wants to be with you then he will not just change his mind because you do not have a perfect body. We are all humans and we are not supposed to be perfect. The sooner we accept it, the better for us. Human beings tend to be over critical about their body and end up feeling unworthy without a good body. Confidence is the key to overcoming this fear of getting intimate because one should always believe that the sexiest attire any person can wear is confidence.
6. Start talking-
It is of utmost importance to give way to all your emotions, that is, in other words you should articulate your emotions. The sooner you start expressing your feelings, the better for you because confiding in someone helps you overcome your fears and inhibitions. One needs the full force of their emotions without holding onto any bit of it. This helps them open up as a person and allow others to come closer to them without worrying about the consequences.
5. Fear of Losing Yourself-
Almost in all relationships, over time, the partners tends to lose their individuality in the process of trying to impress each other. What they generally forget is that each feel in love with the other because of the person they were. Hence it is of utmost importance to make their priorities clear in a relationship in order to make it work and overcome this fear which prevents them from being intimate with their close ones. So in order to prevent this fear from spreading its ugly tentacles over your life, you should be clear about your wishes and desires.
4. Be positive-
Thinking about all the good times that you have shared with your partner during troubled times helps you face such a situation with renewed vigor and energy. This implies that in the face of trouble, if an individual can maintain his positive attitude then he can turn every situation to his benefit. Keeping such an outlook towards life helps him overcome the apprehension of failing in a relationship. One should try and inculcate such values within him such that he can draw positives from any situations and treat every experience in life as a learning experience. This way he will be able to keep his fear of getting intimate and bay and lead a happy and wholesome life.
3. Losing The Spark-
It often happens that a very strong sexual tension exists between two individuals. But the moment they get intimate with each other the spark between them seems to subside. This is a huge fear of intimacy among many. While dealing with this disappointment can be very cumbersome but the sooner it is done with the better for everyone. Just because you did not work out as a couple does not mean you will not click as friends. You can always push such people into your friend zone and continue to be in touch instead of totally calling it off and letting the guilt weigh you down. So it all boils down to accepting the reality and moving on instead of cutting yourself away from others in fear of facing this disappointment.
2. Fear of Failure-
This is one fear that is found common to men and women alike. Failure is something which all individuals want to avoid. While men want to get their mechanics correct in a relationship, women are more concerned about their skills. Both want to ensure that they get every move, every step correct. They all want to be perfect in anything that they do and in this race of trying to be the best they lose out on the main essence of a relationship. Relationship is all about enjoying the company of your partner and basking in his/her company. This cannot happen if one is constantly engaged in thinking and planning every move. Instead one should just let go and allow their emotions to take an upper hand so that things can just flow naturally between them smoothly. Each partner should keep in mind that the other is just as scared as they are and so instead of trying to forcefully please the other person, they should just let go of their fear of intimacy.
1. Fear of Rejection-
It is difficult for one and all to put themselves out there and feel the embarrassment of being rejected by the person they hold in the highest regard and the one who means the most to them. But being rejected by one person will not bring the world crashing down. Till date no one has been heard of dying of embarrassment. So we all need to be brave and take the first step. There is no harm in being vulnerable because it will help you grow as a person. So the best possible way to overcome the fear of intimacy is to let oneself get hurt instead of living in the constant fear of rejection.