Top 10 Types of Women you Find in Bars

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Finally! It’s Friday night and bars and pubs are the places to be. All you want is to hang out with buddies, catch up with the gossip, let off the steam, grab a couple of drinks and if night seems colorful, maybe try your charms with the ladies. Whether you are going to hit your regular club or planning to try a new sports bar, there is no escape to the following mentioned women. If not all, most of them will cross your path, some leaving you with an amusing expression whilst others with an amusing impression.

10. The “Woo Girl” :

The Woo Girl

As old Ted in How I Met Your Mother explained, a ‘woo girl’ is a type of young woman, who like the cuckoo bird or the whippoorwill, gets her name from the signature sounds she makes – ‘Whoooooooo! ’ A woo can be evoked from a song played by the DJ;  to half-priced shots; from a ride on a mechanical bull; to, well, pretty much anything. This girl literally is on the edge of her seat, waiting eagerly for any opportunity to throw her arms in the air and yell ‘woo’. If you still can’t place her, then look around for a bunch of equally wooish girls, who are the life of the party, happy in their own world, wild and exuberant; blocking any chance you have with the prettiest of them all. If your eyes are set on this one, good luck! Getting by this obstruction to be noticed is a big enough challenge, taming this wild animal? Get past the firewall first.

9. The Dance to Death Girl:

The Dance to Death Girl

While we all love to shake a little bit after a drink or two, we always have lovely ladies there to join us. Among these, if you look carefully, you might just spot this one girl who has made the dance floor her second home. Lost in the song, unaware of the happenings around her, this girl will take your breath away. She might take occasional breaks to refill or recharge her again to hit the floor. And then there are others who happen to be slightly disheveled version of the above. Covered in sweat, with the boundaries of lip liner and eye liner closing on to each other, these wonderful ladies have made a solemn declaration not to leave until the bouncer asks them leave. You feel like saluting them for their laudable stamina but your eyes fall over to yet another kind; as drunk as a skunk, lost about the whereabouts; bumping into every soul living or dead, this girl will muddle around the dance floor till her legs give up, might not stop even then. This is the dance of death. While this breed is a delight to watch, maintaining a distance is wise man’s decision. 

8. The Tanker:

The Tanker

You see that girl over there, quaffing one cocktail after another, followed by some series of flaming shots, Ding! Ding! Ding! That’s our girl. Already through with the chugging challenge followed by a chain of Redheaded Slut, you get the next round of Jager Bombs and game is on again. Taking in one drink after another without breaking into sweats or showing any sign of nausea, this is our woman with capacity who might solely be responsible for half of the empty bottles in the bar. 

7. The Parasite:

The Parasite

Looking all innocent and cute, this breed of women can be spotted hunting tables for fine cognac. If you have a table with the bottle still full, be patient, she will come to you in no time. Stuck to you like a leech, she will slug down all the porter as long it’s free. Do not be fooled by her gullible looks or her perfect attire mate, this drunken freeloader recognizes money banks and empty wallets. Neither you are getting lucky with her nor getting hooked up with one of her friends; her life’s mission is to get drunk and she is your best friend up until the bottle is gone. What is she drinking, where, with whom, nothing matters to this bottle whore as long as the booze keep coming her way

6. The Cougar:

The Cougar

Sitting all confident at the bar, hidden in the darkness from the hustle bustle, the cougar is spotted. Sipping her drink in quiet, displaying maximum cleavage possible, in trend with the latest hairstyles, our cougar knows well how to hide any hints of withered skin behind the layers-and-layers of make-up easily deceiving the naïve. One can tell she had her fare share of partying but now she is over the hill and so maybe she is here to amass some attention, looking forward to get back in the game or she is just here to get some drink. We aren’t alien to the fact the maturity attracts men more than beauty. Her knowledge forces you to see life from a different perception. We know our matured boys have a secret fantasy to have a little something-something like Finch and Stifler’s mom but beware! Don’t get entrapped by Mrs. Robinson now!

5. The Novice:

The Novice

Looking frightened and excited at the same time, our newbie sticks out like a sore thumb. Neck rotating in all directions, soaking every eerie detail of the new world, this girl is all set to lose her bar virginity. A million expressions cross her face as her friend animatedly explains the surroundings to her. Desperately in need of male attention, this girl will go to lengths to attract some suitors. But we do not blame her; after all she is still in her teens. 

4. The Drug Addict:

The Drug Addict

The girl with haunting, extra large eyes on once-beautiful face is our girl. Clearly lost in the world, this girl finds solace in clubs. Her frequency of visits to ladies room is as high as the occurrence of heartbeat. It is pretty obvious she is going to the powder room every now and then to bump on cocaine. She might not engage in dancing, but when she does it is like she is dancing for her life. You advance to know her but she will clearly ignore you. Offer her a bump and now she hears you!

3. The Escort:

The Escort

It gets a little tricky to distinguish this bird from the usual saga of women but if you look hard enough, her perfect nails along with a little over the top of a dress under that fur coat might confirm that she is the one. If you are wondering that how that old man is there sipping Bollinger with an out-of-his-league woman and you have just a bottle of jalapeno vodka by your side then sweat not buddy, he is paying her handsomely to have all the jealous eyes on them.

2. The Girlfriend:

The Girlfriend

She is either engaged or married or have Brad Pitt of a boyfriend. All in all she is taken; one prolonged eye contact with her will confirm that. Will she let you buy her a drink? Of course! Are you allowed to flirt with her? Hell yeah!  Women committed or not, like to know that they still have it. There are only two possible explanations why she is in a bar on a Saturday night with her girlfriend: I) she is the wingwoman tonight. Extremely happy with her own committed life, now it’s her duty to find the same for her bestie. If you are even slightly interested in her friend, do not mess with this one. She is calling the shots tonight. Her confirmatory nod means more than Obama’s in case of a nuclear war. II) She just had a big fight with her love-love, and is here to rethink her relationship. If she had been giggling at silly little puns all night, do not make the mistake of assuming she is all set. She had been comparing you, in her mind and all others before you with her boyfriend all night long.

1. The Depressed:

The Depressed

Freshly out of a big fight, on the verge of crying, not bothered about the space or time, this lady had taken a vow to drink to death tonight. The trail of tears rushing down the cheeks is directly proportional to the amount of alcohol consumed. With each drink down, every distressing detail of life hitting her is clearly visible on the face. If you are in a mood for something sad, ask her what’s wrong. A drink or two and the story begins.

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